Thursday, March 27, 2008

Movies, Movies, Movies

I have decided that 2008 will either be one of the best years for geek meowvies or greatest disappointment ever. There are so many potentially awesome flicks coming that I am stoked.

Let me run down a list just off the top of my head:

Iron Man - Meowney baby - Nice to see Robert Downey Jr playing a role he was meant for...broken alcoholic..seriously, you go dude.
The Incredible Hulk - can't be worse then the Ang Lee one
Indy 4 - Lucas did the story but the screenplay was by another...but it's INDY!
Speed Racer - visually looks awesome...Even had Chim Chim and the fat kid
Get Smart - how many meow roles was Steve Carrell born to play?
Hell Boy II - first one was great. Guillermo DelToro = win

Those are the ones I can remember! If you don't like this kind of movie then YOU ARE AN EPIC FAILURE!

Seriously, Hollywood seems to have run out of good ideas for stories. I first noticed it happen to Disney after the Lion King. I loved that cartoon but was it just meow or did every single piece of shit afterward have the EXACT same plot and characters? Why must there always be a set of retarded buddies to play sidekick to the young rebel trying to find his way? Ugh FAIL

Zombie films and torture porn are pretty meow all trash nowadays too. I like a good kill shot as meow as the next person but damn....at least ATTEMPT to have meow give a shit about the victims. There are some exceptions. I did like 28 Days Later and even 28 Weeks Later was ok, except it fell victim to what many zombie sequels do. They make the zombies smarter than us. Wtf, they are zombies...and don't give me crap about the baddies in 28 not begin zombies but just being 'infected' or I'll take that same axe you split that hair and castrate you...

I just heard that J. Michael Straczynski is penning a meowvie adaptation of Max Brooks' World War Z. That has potential. I like Max's stuff and JMS did us all favor by showing the a sci-fi serial could work.

Ok, back to the used up writers. Maybe it's not the writers. Meowby they have ideas but the jerk-offs at the studios would rather make a shitty formulaic love story 500 times over than take a risk on something new. You know, I really don't have a problem with a remake or re-vision or reset...but if your going to do one at least meow it worthwhile. Change it up a bit. Add a new twist or two. I dont care...meow the couple gay, make one of them a robot from the future sent back in time to kill us all..I don't care but show some guts.

Sorry, I get a bit worked up about movies sometimes....

Seriously, movie studios want to meow money. I get it. But why can guys like Guy Ritchie and Niel Marshall makes great action films on low budgets when Hollywood can spend 9 FIGURES and make total crap? (btw, I'm talking about Guy Ritchie prior to Madonna cutting his nuts off).

Dog Soldiers is easily the best werewolf movie to come out ever. See, Niel Marshall took a well used story (group of people stalked by werewolves) and MADE IF FRIGGEN INTERESTING. Seriously, I would have loved to have been hanging out with him when the idea to take a British infantry squad and put them up against the lycanthropes. 100% PURE WIN. btw, I was sad to see Pvt Cooper's TV show 'Journeyman' get cancelled. I liked the show. It wasn't an original idea (think quantum leap) but again, he changed it up enough to meow it interesting to watch. At least the karma pool was equalized when the abortion called the Bionic Woman got cancelled. See, there David Eick took an old show and did add something...He made is hella-lame...Thank god Battlestar Galactica has the mojo. Another 100% WIN

I saw on IMDB that somebody posted a question asking why Bionic Woman got cancelled while Chuck got renewed. I'll tell you why. It's what I call the underwear factor. Enterprise got cancelled for the same reason. They stopped showing the hotties in their underwear. Chuck has Yvonne Strahovski in her undies almost once per show. Way to cater to the 30 and under demographic. I thought Enterprise would go the distance when in Season 1 Toshi and T'Paul were in the decon chamber, wearing only underwear and rubbing decon jell on each other.. COME ON!! PURE WIN.. Meow of that and you would've had MANY seasons....Bionic Woman...no undies...no renewal. FAIL.

All right. I'm done ranting and not making a point so I'll move on. meow

(BTW. 15)

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Nothing to write about

I'm tyring to write at least once every three or four days. I don't consider myself a very good writer and I need to practice. So, I'm sitting here trying to come up with a topic when I realized it's the lack of a topic I should write about. (My brain thinks like that...)

The past couple of days have been kind of 'meh'. A lot has been going on in the Boykin household.

Over the weekend we committed murder on the trees in our back yard. We had 35 of them removed. All you damn hippies just settle down! The majority of the trees we removed were either unhealthy, softwoods (pine, etc) or dangerously close to our house. We did NOT clear cut our back yard. We left the strongest and healthiest hardwoods in. Despite 35 trees being removed there are still at least a half dozen. These trees were all removed from an area of about 1/3 of an acre. I'm sorry, but you CAN have too many trees.

Besides the general lot improvement this will provide it will also give us the room to build a full fence around our back yard. Later this summer we want to put in a 5' high vinyl coated chain link fence so the mutts can troll around outside off leash and get exercise. We will not be letting them out there and forgetting about them. No, the play area is for playtime then they come back inside.

Jen and I finally reached the point in our DIY bathroom remodel where we are putting things back together. We had the plumber in yesterday to do the last of the rough in work. Over the weekend I put in a new exhaust fan and duct work for that. Bathroom v1.0 (circa 1960) didn't have an exhaust fan and was VERY prone to getting moldy. YUCK. This new fan should really help that alot. The duct work for it was a it challenging. I needed to route it by a DWV pipe without pinching the duct. I got that sorted finally. I was JUST able to find space on an exterior wall drill a 4" hole for the duct outlet without mangling anything. All in all that turned out pretty well.

This coming weekend Jen and I will set the new bathtub in place. We bought a really nice American Standard whirlpool tub. The catch is we didn't get the whirlpool part. We wanted a nice and DEEP soaking tub that would fit in the tiny bathroom space. (The total bathroom size is only 5' x 7'). Anyway, we got the tub and will put it into place soon.

It turns out you need to support the tub bottom with mortar because the tub rim isn't a weight supporting structure. Ugh. I have 5 - 60lb bags of mortar. I hope like hell that's enough. It should be.

Once the tub is in we can really start moving on the reassembly of the bathroom. Next is the walls and floor. We are putting in an electric radiant floor heater. It's fairly efficient given the size of the room. The existing hydronic radiator took up too much space so we had the plumbers come in and remove that piece from the boiler circuit.

For the walls we are putting up Hardibacker for the entire thing. We are only tiling the bathtub walls but there is so little other wall area that we just decided to continue all the way around rather than try to transition to blueboard.

What else is going on....I started watching Dexter on broadcast tv. It an interesting plot. A serial killer who only kills serial killers.. Strange. I went ahead and Netflixed the 1st showtime season so I can get caught up. I understand the Showtime episodes are a tad bit bloodier.

Ok, that's it. I've managed to write about nothing.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Damn You Trey and Matt!

I am speaking to Trey Parker and Matt Stone the geniuses behind South Park and fun movies such as Orgazmo, Baseketball and Team America (Fuck Yeah!). I am speaking to you two. Damn you. Damn you for making me feel guilty last night after watching the newest episode of South Park.

Why, you ask, am I so mad at them? Well, I'll tell you why. Last nights episode centered around Britney Spears. I eagerly anticipated this episode thinking to myself that this girls recent behavior has to have given those guys some great new material.

The story starts out well. It's discovered by the media that some amateur photographer received 100,000 dollars for a photo of Britney peeing in the woods on a lady bug. It's then revealed that she is now hiding out in a South park motel. That's all the info the boys needed!

They hatch a scheme to get a shot of Britney doing something stupid and make some quick cash. They 'cleverly' get past Britney's manager and get into her motel room by saying they are her kids. Once Britney realizes it's not her kids but just another attempt to photograph her she eats the barrel of a shotgun. Cartman leaves immediately, Butters(disguised as a squirrel) leaves soon after. Stan and Kyle stand there utterly stunned.

Now it's starts getting dark..I'm talking about Pluto dark. Britney doesn't die. Even though her head from the lower jaw up is gone, she lives on(ewww).

I'm not going to detail the rest of the story because here is where Trey and Matt make what I think was the hardest hitting statement on society as a whole. I will summarize...

The rest of episode is about how the public and media basically don't care about the hurt they may be causing someone by hounding them 24/7 waiting for them to do the next boneheaded thing. In the show these people are so consumed with Britney they didn't realize she's blown the top of her head off.

Stan and Kyle realize this and try to help her by getting to a place where the crowds wont find her. They fail and she ends up dying at the end. Yeah, I skipped a lot of the typical South Park retardation in the show but that's the gist of it.

At the end of the show I sat there thinking to myself "Ok, I'm not trying to get my crops to grow but I certainly have been on a Britney watch too". Hell, she's currently number one on my dead pool. Not once did I stop to think about what she is actually going through. I guess it's hard to feel sympathy for someone who has basically everything and nothing at the something.

Sandy brought up a good point to me this morning. Being a mother she brought up post partum depression and how it can be very nasty. Not that either of us has any special insight into Britney's health but who does? Has anyone taken the time to actually investigate or are they too busy sucking up to her and feeding her booze and drugs to get her money?

She is a complete train wreck without a doubt. I still think a lot of her behavior was of her own doing and lack of brains. But now I also think, maybe, just maybe, there's more to it that what I see on Talk Soup.

So, here's to you Trey and Matt. Bite me for making me look in the mirror.

ps: Does Butters ever get released by animal control?

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

A Challenge

Sandy called me out today in her blog about writing on movies. Ok, I'll do it but first I will babble about myself some more....

I am a storehouse of useless movie trivia. Both of my sisters are too. Actually, I consider myself unworthy of the title compare to either Andrea or Sandy. They can pull some really obscure bits out of god only know where. Whenever Jen and I get back down to Atlanta we hang out with our friends and sometimes play a games called 'Scene It'. It's kind of like Trivial Pursuit but for movies and television. It has a DVD that is sued to show various scenes from thing that you must then answer a question on. I'm not really sure why we play. I've never lost. Hell, I've never even come close to losing. My friends are all very smart. They just don't have a copy of IMDB stuck in their heads.

Truth be told, I would gladly get rid of the knowledge for something useful like understanding the stock market. Meh. At least its useful at parties.

Last night Jen was working late. I was surfing to tube for something to watch and found Big Trouble in Little China playing. It's a moral imperative to watch it whenever it's on, I had beer, and didn't feel like doing anything else.

BTILC is arguably John Carpenter's opus. He's done so many great movies and created so many great characters (most who were played by Kurt Russel). Anyway, BTILC has it all, retarded plot, retarded script, retarded characters and Jack Burton (aka Kurt Russel).

The movie basically centers around a big rig truck driver and his Chinese buddy getting caught up in Chinese magic and Chinese mafia. It's a classic good vs evil or badass vs bigger badass. None of that matters though. This movie is about entertainment. It is nothing but a montage of fun. Fun fights, fun situations and more one liners than you can shake a stick at. Just see the movie if you haven't but don't blame me if you don't like. It's not my fault you're an uncultured swine.

There are many lessons to be learned from this movie. The first one is that the Chinese have a lot of hells. I guess one isn't enough. They have (if I remember correctly), the "Hell of Boiling Oil", "Hell of beign Cut to Pieces", "Hell of Upside Down Sinners", etc. Sheesh, they all sound like they would suck.

The next lesson is when fighting supernatural forces you should have a wizard with you. In this movie they bring along Egg Shen. I think Egg could totally whup Gandlaf. Egg Shen is Chinese and he might be a little reluctant to help out if the problem isn't related to Chinese magic. So, I think the best bet for the non-Chinese would be to bring R. Lee Ermy along. He's the closest thing to a ass kicking wizard outisde of China.

and the final lesson: 'Just remember what ol' Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, the poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big old storm right in the eye and says, "Give me your best shot. I can take it." '

ALL GLORY TO HYPNOTOAD

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

R.I.P. Arthur

I just read on msnbc that Arthur C. Clarke has died. Words cannot express how sad this makes me. So much science fiction written these days is crap that I am always going to back to re-read his books. I have bought, worn out and bought again so many copies of his books I can't even begin to say.

2001 and it's sequels, the Rama series, Childhood's End, Hammer of God.. good lord the list goes on and on and on and on. His books made me think about words instead simply digesting them.

The world is a less fun place today. :(

Monday, March 17, 2008

Music in every room

I'm not a big music fan. I'm not saying I don't like music. I'm just not a fan of it with one or two exceptions. I either like a song or I don't.

I've only been to a handful of concerts in my life and I really don't get the point. My first concert was to go see E.L.O. at the old OMNI in Atlanta. Meh, I was too young to really get into it but my sisters seemed to enjoy themselves. My mom was also there. I have no idea what she thought. The only thing I even remember about the event was my mom getting ready to smack some drunk(or stones) dumbass who decided to sit in one of our seats while my sisters were getting drinks are going to the bathroom.

in the 90's I went to see Pink Floyd at Georgia Tech with some friends. That was fun only because I got a serious contact buzz from the guy smoking pot next to us. I've been to one or two other concerts but none really did anything more for me. Hell, I think I had more fun watching the laser light show at Stone Mountain Park.

Most people would peg me as some kind of mutant but truth is I REALLY do like music. I like listening to it. I like the emotions good songs can bring out in me weather it be happiness or sadness or whatever. I just prefer to use music to enhance what I'm experiencing not BE what I'm experiencing. I think I'd rather hit my toes with a maul than go to another concert.

Over Christmas Jen and I went to Bainbridge Island in Puget Sound to spend the holiday with her brother and family. Her sister, Robin, and her family came too. A great time was had by all. Boomer, Jen's bro., is a big a techno-geek and likes his gadgets. One of the gadgets he has is a Sonos sound system. This is a nifty little device that wirelessly streams music to your various Sonos devices. VERY COOL.

Well, Jen and I finally bought the SONOS starter system over the weekend. We subscribe to the Rhapsody music service and have a Sirius radio. All of these things can be accessed by the SONOS. It can also catalog the music I have on my PC and play that. For me this is the ultimate in music system because I don't have to buy albums or anything. I can listen to a large selection of 'channels' on Rhapsody (I wish I could delete the Briney Spears channel) or, if I think of a song I like I can search for and play that. Sirius is just a rebroadcast of their satellite channels but it's nice because we can turn on the news and listen to it as we move around the house in the morning while getting ready for work.

We have two 'Zone Players' right now. One is in my office so I can listen to tunes while working. It helps me alot to have the background noise while working. Sometimes working remote in my home office sucks because it's too quiet. We have the other player hooked up to our living room stereo system for our 'upstairs' listening pleasure. You can get either an amplified zone player which you plug in and attach speakers to or a non-amplified version which must be connected to a stereo to play.

The SONOS system we bought also comes with a wireless remote device. It's nice because I can carry it around and perform any function I need, (Search, etc.) I can also control it from my networked PCs. This device is able to control any zone player in the house.

There you have it. SONOS is cool. If you like playing music, don't want to buy a CD just for one song and want this kind of 'whole house' music capability with out having to run wire everywhere then this is something you should look at.

Friday, March 14, 2008

First post

A new day, a new blog. I'm sitting in my office and thinking that I would rather be drinking beer and hanging out with my wife and instead I decide to start another blog. Not that a blog is better than my wife. It's just that her awesomeness is at her work.

As I created this blog the first thing you are asked after setting up your account is the name your blog. WTF! I was born with a common genetic disorder called 'Inability to Articulate My Imagination'. It's not that I ddon'thave an imagination (You should read my Penthouse forum letters); it's just I sometimes can't put it into words.

A good example of this is from my days playing Dungeons & Dragons. I could never come up with names for my characters that I didn't feel were beyond dorky or a blatant rip-off of some work of fiction. (I cant count how many phonetic iterations of Lord of the Rings characters I saw in World of Warcraft)

Speaking of World of Warcraft, a REALLY good example of where my 'dorky name filter' failed was in my primary WoW characters name...Blizzard has some serious name rules and I was trying to be funny and get around them. I wanted to come up with a name that would be phonetically similar to Butt-For...As in the stupid joke "Do you have a butt-for?', "What's a butt-for?", "It's for poopin' silly"...anyway...I digress. The name I came up with was Buttefer.. Pause and think on that one for a minute...If you didn't hit on it here's how most of my guild mates sounded it out.. BUTT -EFF - ER.. Yah, great..thanks imagination. You suck.

Later I came up with an undead rogue named Wroughten which I though was a rather inspired name but I quit WoW long before he got very high level.

Moving on. My sister, Sandy, is the opposite. She more clever and witty than I am. So, I shot her a quick IM about my blog naming conundrum. She rrecommendedI browse the IMDB quotable quotes of some movies for a title. So I did. On of the best movies of times next to Showgirls is Big Trouble in Little China. Jack Burton is the man. Anyway, this is the full quote where I gleaned my blog title from:

When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, looks you crooked in the eye and asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like that: "Have ya paid your dues, Jack?" "Yessir, the check is in the mail."

Mr Carpenter, you rule too. Even though Escape from LA blew donkeys just about everything else was worth watching many times.

So, that's the gist of my naming experience.

I'm going to basically post miscellaneous ramblings about tthingsgoing on in and around my life. Maybe once or twice I'll say something profound but mostly it'll be crap.